A rover-reaction

In a report costing a staggering sixteen million quid, the Government lambasted The Phoenix Four – the former directors of MG Rover – for paying themselves £40-odd million... and did so without the slightest hint of irony. The fact that it was the slippery Lord Mandelson, famously booted out of Government, not once but twice, for dodgy dealings makes the foaming-at-the-mouth reaction (the sort usually only reserved for paedophiles and terrorists) even more ludicrous.

Unusually for the media - especially given their beloved Gordon Brown’s involvement (he vetoed a survival package for the company in a rumoured plot to damage Tony Blair) - they have lamely and lazily accepted the report’s findings word for word. What’s even worse is their extremely belated concern for the 5000-or-so workers who lost their jobs way back in 2005, having been the very same media responsible for constantly ridiculing their products and undermining their efforts whilst their company was fighting for its life (I vividly remember The Sun’s front page, dancing on Rover’s grave when BMW pulled out).

On the subject of BMW pulling out, let’s not forget that the Phoenix Four supplied skilled jobs for those 5000 workers for a further 5 years, not forgetting the huge amount of tax paid to the Government, the same Government that has now turned on them so spectacularly. Having raped and pillaged the company, the Germans knew that MG Rover was on borrowed time and simply handed the company to someone else so that they would get the flak when the inevitable happened, although given the British people’s love of all things BMW, including both Police and Ministers shamefully choosing them ahead of Jaguar, it’s very doubtful that they would’ve received anything like the same criticism as the Phoenix Four.

Three of the P4 - Messrs Towers, Stephenson and Edwards - had been involved with the company for a very long time... I genuinely doubt that they would’ve done anything to deliberately harm it, and if anybody believes that the £40 million that they ‘took’ would’ve made a blind bit of difference to the company's survival, then they're seriously deluded. Yes, those directors may well have been out of their depth, but, as far as I know, this isn’t yet a crime (if it was, most of my favourite football team would’ve been placed behind bars weeks’ ago), although with this Government anything is possible. I actually think they were right to accuse the Government of a witch-hunt – stupidly, on hearing this, Mandelson unleashed yet another barrage of vitriol in their direction, inadvertently giving further credence to the directors’ accusations of a grudge!

Later this month, it’s rumoured that SAIC, the Chinese owners of what is left of the once-sprawling Longbridge plant on the southern outskirts of Birmingham, will announce whether the famous old factory will produce their new MG6 saloon. Fingers-crossed. The plant, still affectionately referred to as ‘The Austin’ by locals, deserves some good news.

Ashes to ashes

So, England (well, nine Englishmen and two South Africans) won The Ashes again? Thankfully, we seem to have been spared the mass hysteria of last time (and hopefully the MBEs that went with it). Let’s face it, being a two team series, even before a ball was bowled England had a 50% chance of winning (increasing to something like 84.6% if they happened to win three of the five tosses!).

Now, I have nothing against cricket – I can see why people enjoy an informal knockabout on the village green, I just can’t fathom why people would want to pay serious money to see the likes of test cricket and one day finals where the result is largely determined by the toss of a coin. Sorry, until cricket introduces a more reasonable, less fairground system of deciding who bats first, I’m afraid I won’t be able to take the sport seriously.

Either that or Lords replaces the entire 25-day Ashes series with a ten minute ‘best of five’ toss-up, with the winning captain taking home The Ashes, removing the need for any of this increasingly unnecessary cricket mullarkey. Sounds fair enough to me.