World Cup Willie (and friends)

To be fair, if the likes of David Cameron, Prince William and David Beckham were paraded in front of me, I would probably have voted 'no' too.

All that fuss, and we only received two votes.

Us and someone else, apparently.

But given the English FA's legendary incompetence, can we even be sure that we voted for ourselves?

Vote rugging v2

Sadly, given their current desire to sell off some of the family silver, it seems that - like much of what's left of British manufacturing - Axminster Carpets are finding business a little on the quiet side. However, given the results in a recent online survey, that claimed 85% of voters were in favour of the company's controversial plan to build 400 houses on Cloakham Lawns, I reckon things must be particularly bleak.

I mean, If the company can afford to have a member of their office staff spending their entire working day voting 'yes' to an unimportant survey on the local paper's website, then emptying their computer's cache, then voting 'yes' again, then emptying the cache again, then voting 'yes' again, then emptying the cache again (and so on and so on), business must be more quiet than I had feared!

Note to Axminster Carpets' lawyers: it's a joke.

City slickers

Is it any wonder that there was trouble at this week's Plymouth Argyle vs Exeter City Johnstone Paint Trophy match, when the week before the Exeter Express & Echo had - with a sugary front page headline and a staggeringly childish editorial - been goading their rival city over the thorny subject of... shopping centres!

As someone who lived in Plymouth for six years and also worked in Exeter for another six years, I'm perhaps better suited than most to discuss the various merits of each city. Each have their own qualities, but I've always found it a little strange how Exeter has always seemed so paranoid about its larger rival down the A38. During my time in Plymouth, and during many subsequent visits, I honestly can't recall the Plymouth Evening Herald ever taking a similar stance against the (self-appointed) 'Region's Capital'.

Thing is, if you add together the very nice, new Princesshay (shame about the lack of roof across most of it, though), the rather tired Guildhall Centre and the eery white elephant that is The Harlequins, the combination would still be inferior to Drakes Circus in Plymouth. And I suspect, deep down, Exeter know this. And so do Plymouth - which is why they don't get involved.

So, whilst Exeter understandably gets excited about its impending new John Lewis, albeit a rather pokey one (I had to smile when an Exeter councillor described the former Debenhams building as 'iconic'), and less understandably excited about its new Wilkinsons (Wilkinsons, I ask you! Show me a decent-sized town that hasn't got one!), Plymouth will just keep quietly going about its business.

Name and address supplied

Another great letter from the Axminster Carpets' Propaganda Department, sorry, 'Name and Address Supplied', in this week's Pulman's 'We'll print virtually anything' View from Axminster.

Axminster is already one of the most affordable places to live in East Devon. Any notion that Axminster Carpets' scheme for 400 new houses will further improve that is entirely fanciful - will the seemingly ever-benevolent loomers be offering 2 bed houses at time-warp prices of sixty or seventy grand?

I think not.

Affordable housing in the town already exists - trouble is, with the banks not dishing out mortgages like they used to, or as they should, first-timers can no longer afford them. That's something only the banks can sort out. Not dear ol' Axminster Carpets. Bless 'em.

Hold the front page

I’m never quite sure whether I should rejoice, or not, in the fact that very little seems to happen in Axminster. On the one hand, I’m obviously glad that there aren’t any gangland shootings, but on the other, I’m convinced the local paper – the snappily titled Pulman’s View from Axminster – can find more newsworthy items to fill its front pages. Recently, we’ve had big headline, front page stories about a stolen plant pot (seriously), a cracked paving slab, and the other week another non-story – a former mayor (rather strangely) supporting Axminster Carpets’ hugely unpopular attempt to build 400 homes on a green field site to the North of the town.

Now, I'm not sure anyone would care what the current mayor thinks, no offence to whoever he is, let alone one from seven years' ago. Nonetheless, the paper reported: "Mervyn Symes, who served as mayor from 2001-2003, believes it would be a missed opportunity for the town if the development doesn’t go ahead."

Hmmm.

Personally, I'm struggling to see how simply building a new housing estate - bringing 1000-ish additional residents and (most importantly) very little in the way of any new infrastructure - represents a great bit of business for the town. Maybe it's similar to Tesco's (cough) 'regeneration' of Seaton?

Best of all, Symes also went on to say: “I accept that Axminster desperately needs a new relief road but sadly this will not happen for many years."

Nope, it probably won't with people like you - and the clowns at East Devon District Council - supporting a rival scheme to the one promising a new relief road.

Some people just really don't get it.

Seeing red

Why is it that - no matter what time of day you are travelling, and from what direction - the traffic lights at Weycroft Mill, on the outskirts of Axminster, are always, always, ALWAYS on red?

Reffing hell!

Amazing how football supporters spend hours - often quite rightly - criticising the standard of English referees, but when one of them - Howard Webb - takes charge of a World Cup Final, and puts in a less than faultless performance, suddenly everyone in the country rushes to his defence.